At Tombolo Academy, we recognise that independence is an important part of growing up, but for neurodiverse children, the pathway towards independence may look different for every child. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, and there is no single reference point for what is considered “appropriate” or “age-appropriate” independence.
Every child is unique, with their own strengths, interests, abilities, and challenges. Independence is not about expecting children to simply do things for themselves. Instead, it is about providing the right support, at the right time, so they can gradually develop the confidence, skills and resilience to take greater ownership of their lives and learning.
Involve Your Child
One of the most important ways caregivers can encourage independence is by involving children in the conversation. Talk with your child about what they would like to achieve and work together to identify achievable goals.
For a student, this might mean deciding how they would like to approach an assignment, choosing a topic that interests them, organising their materials or setting a personal learning goal. When children have a voice in these decisions, they are more likely to feel a sense of ownership and understand that their learning journey belongs to them.
At Tombolo Academy, we recognise that student agency develops gradually. Our teachers work closely with students to understand their individual strengths, interests and learning needs, helping them become increasingly active participants in their education.
I Do, We Do, You Do
Learning a new skill takes time. The “I do, We do, You do” approach provides a useful framework for gradually building independence.
First, an adult demonstrates the skill. Then, the child practises it with support before gradually taking responsibility for completing it independently. As confidence and competence develop, the level of adult support can be reduced.
At Tombolo, teachers carefully scaffold tasks, model new skills and break learning into manageable steps, while gradually building students’ independence. This might involve providing a visual guide, modelling how to begin a task, working through an example together or helping a student identify the next step.
The goal is not to remove support altogether. Rather, it is to adjust the level of support as the student develops the skills and confidence to take greater ownership.
Make Independence Achievable
Sometimes, a task may feel overwhelming because there are too many steps, too many choices or too many demands at once. Modifying the task can make independence more achievable.
This could involve offering limited choices, changing the timing of an activity, modifying the environment, breaking a task into smaller steps or introducing tools and visual supports.
For neurodiverse children, these adjustments can make a significant difference. Rather than asking, “Why won’t they do this independently?”, we can ask, “What is making this difficult, and what support might help?”
This reflects an important principle: children do well if they can. When a child is struggling, exploring the barriers to success can help adults and children problem-solve together.
Finding the Balance
Building independence means finding the balance between freedom and support. Children need opportunities to make choices, solve problems and experience the outcomes of their decisions, but they also need adults who provide safety, guidance and encouragement.
Mistakes are an essential part of this process. When something doesn’t go as planned, we can help children reflect on what happened, consider what they might do differently next time and understand that mistakes are opportunities to learn.
At Tombolo Academy, this approach supports more than completing individual tasks. As students develop confidence, resilience and responsibility, they can increasingly take ownership of their learning journey, by setting goals, making choices, asking for help when needed, reflecting on their progress and recognising their own strengths.
Most importantly, independence is not a race. There is no set timeline or pathway that every child must follow. Each student will develop independence at their own pace and in their own way.
Our role as caregivers and educators is not to do everything for children, nor is it to expect them to do everything alone. It is to provide the right level of support, gradually stepping back as their skills and confidence grow, so they can discover what they are capable of and become increasingly confident owners of their own learning journey.
Register now for our Open Evening on 15 October 2026 via our website: tombolo.vic.edu.au
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